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The title suggests its a midnight rant, i would not say exactly midnight. Its. 2:30 am, you get my point.
I am still reading the journal I was reading in the morning. Ya, i have no life. That reminds me this happens to be my second post today, something I havent done in recent times.
Blogging is hard when you have written more than 100s of posts. I was once freelancing as a journalist (at a national media house) worked there for 10 months. Before that i worked/ wrote number of blogs, articles, poems, tales and about everything I dreamt of doing once.
When i first started writing I had this dream of becoming a writer and people will praise my work. I was successful in achieving that dream. In less than 2 years i was satisfied and hence writing came to a halt. Now i tend to write more for myself( i dont need to please anyone) 😉
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Found a journal after a long interval and it seems just like the old times.
Alot has been happening in life (actually nothing is really happening. ) I am just sitting in my home jobless. Although there is one meeting today with our investors. Hope something good happens there.
And as if I was not facing enough troubles my notebook started giving me troubles as well.
So, its summer again and I thought of trying my luck at getting a internship. I started my search (just like last winter) and over a period of a month, wrote as many mails as I could ;).
Of all 3 responded for a telephonic conversation. The first one was the best where I had expectations (both from the employer and from myself) . I lived upon mine and performed all the tasks but as it turned out there were people better than me (thats what they told) . At the end of the day, I never got the opportunity. From then I got 2 more rejections.
And in the last interview it happened that I was exposed to questions (about technology stacks) that I never cared to know. Although I realized I had messed up the situation here as well but there were many positive points to consider. I will be working on them in the future to improve my knowledge base.
The same thing happened last winter as well but eventually I ended up with two internships. Thats because I was determined that I am good enough to be hired. I still believe but I need to focus more on my startup Geeklab. We will be soon starting operations.
Last week was very interesting, ofcourse there was holi but I also reconnected to some of my old friends. Its always good to hear from old buddies, one of which was in my school since nursery. So, that was nice.
But that also brought back memories from the past, memories given by a person that no longer exists in my life. But it was good, they no longer haunt me.
In other news I donated blood today, second time !! yay. It felt good but the patient might not live longer, still I did what I could. Hospitals always have been a home for people in misery and pain. Although there are very few things that touch or instigate my emotions but seeing these people in pain, makes me weak. I thought I was immune to emotions but I guess I am not.
Recently I have been watching Dexter (Tv series) alot and have started making connections with the dual lives he cherishes. *smiles*
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Living here for the last couple of days now, had to shift immediately after coming from Bangalore. Although this is not permanent and I will be moving back to Kolkata on 21st.
This is the 2nd time I have come to IIT Kgp but for the first time I got the chance to witness the student life closely. Rakesh one of my friend (who also interned with me at Bangalore) allowed me a tiny space in his room to stay.
Time and again I get this feeling I let go the chances to make it to this place. I know i could have made here but just didnt gave it enough importance. I was far too engrossed with S, gave my everything and at the end of the day both of them slipped out of my reach.
Still today I can easily trade S with any other possessions of mine. Unfortunately I can’t, helpless.
Sometimes I wonder how the situations had turned hostile for me. I can’t understand one thing how to let this go when deep inside a part of mine wants to hang on it firmly. Disheartening part is that no one cares.
Ok, enough talk of the past no use of that.
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This will be a series of post where I will look back into my life after my 12th grade and how I have fared in this period. This series will give me something to ratter about (since its hard to find decent topics for writing ). Also I tend to become very lazy in terms of writing. The reason for the laziness can be because I have written so much in the last 4 years or so, I sometimes fall short of words. Anyway I feel I am beginning to get over that feeling.
I will start with the year 2010, the year my 12th exams got over. I started reading blogs after my first breakup (after 12th grade). It was horrible and I was in measurable state for months. It was in between those events that I thought of diverting my mind to something else (other than Facebook) I would definitely turn mad. I bought few novels but as it turned out I didn’t had enough money to continue buying more. There I thought of reading blogs (which to my thoughts were also kind of novels.) Initially I used to just read works by others but in between all these reading I got an urge to write as well. I started a blog on blogspot and with fears wrote a small piece. My English was terrible (it still is but I have improved a lot) and I thought I would not get any reader.
Into my 5-6th post I realized I didn’t had any reader, from that very day I stopped writing for others and more for myself.(think less and write more) By this time I was into my college which was horrible. (I realized this on the very first day 😉 ) I was planning to change my college to some better place where I could get a decent exposure. I wanted to explore and find options for myself. Kolkata was a natural choice.
In between all these I used to blog from Suri (the place where my college was located) . The town had limited internet connectivity so, I used to blog from cyber cafe. I used to read blogs from my mobile, write posts in paper and then copy the same on the computer. By this i got the time to correct my spellings and grammar. Oh, did I mention I was also getting decent reaction from my readers (yeah, I got some readers. My poems and writings were being appreciated world wide ). The year was 2010 and i wrote a total of 61 post in that year.
I was even thinking of a career in journalism and how I will write my debut novel.
In middle of all these one particular friend used to help me a lot. She used to encourage and cheer up. She was the primarily reason I got out from the depression mode (after the breakup).
This was also the phase when I started drinking and smoking, all the things that grown ups do. Heck I even taught some of my friends to smoke (for which they curse me till date 😀 )
More in the next post.
Bangalore, 25th Dec.
Merry Christmas. I am almost at the end of the year 2013, by no doubt this year has been the most memorable and productive year. But the word “memorable” might be considered relative. I will come back to this.
So in the earlier post, I had mentioned about my dropping out, I would not stress much on that point but things post that decision has been challenging and interesting.
I am in Bangalore now for a internship and if things work out fine I might join them full time after this. I am little stressed and I am gonna lie (social network dialog 😀 ) also a little scared also. But the fact that I am listening to my heart gives me immense satisfaction.
Today is a holiday, although I would have wished to work at the office. Anyway I will be writing some codes in the afternoon.
Bangalore, 1st Jan 2014.
Yay, its 2014. Happy new Year.
I just came from a over night Hackathon (Hacknight). Although I was not able to hack anything, had plans to bult a web app which shows you people whom you can follow on Github (based according to your coding languages mentioned) And the only problem was that Github API will not let me view the repos of each followers.
But still start of the year was something memorable. Cheers to that. 🙂
Bangalore 10th Jan
So, I will be leaving Bangalore in few days, 13th to be exact. I was working with two startups, on backend and frontend. I will continue my work with them in future also and hope I will be paid for the same. 🙂
I will be meeting a friend today in the evening.
I have also started working on a project, I have named it “code name – bus routes “ I will be using this in future reference of this project.
It is basically a mobile app which will show you bus numbers for the routes fed in it. I have created a basic API for it, will need to start work on the frontend part. I will be posting as and when things move forward.
For the last one month that I have spent in Bnagalore I have primarily been coding and nothing else. Even on 25th dec and 1st jan.Why ?? because I have no life and I enjoy this.