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Me and couple of seniors has a joy time time together. We had a drunk session and we are still enjoying the effects.
Such sessions are fun to attend but they bring them old memories which were not good. But still I am long way from that phase so I can put that aside.
So, the new news being is this I would be leaving for Bangalore this month, for which I am oviously excited. But having said that I will have to make sure that I do not make a mess of this oppurtunity.
For now I am contributing to few open source projects and they might come in handy in near future. Even if they do not I am learning with every project. Open source projects have many advantages. I am glad i am being able to come to a stage where I am able to make such contributions.
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Had another dream today of my school, of S and of my mates. I don’t like them now, they remind me of a bad phase. A period of my life which I would to discard away, but they haunt me every now and then. It’s strange how a single factor can turn your good old times into horrible memories. At one point of time I used to cherish my life there, like things couldn’t be any better but now even remembering those days gives shakes me totally.
I dont remember the dream anymore, its faded which in a sense is good.
There is a meeting with Betaglide’s founder today, we would be discussing the terms of my 2 week stay in Bangalore. Whatever the term may be I would be glad to accept. This is by far the best chance I have been offered by any company.
Will be leaving for Bangalore next month.
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Its quite late in the night and I should be sleeping by now but then here I am writing.
So, why I am writing? So, there is this girl from college, we talk quite sometime. Actually we were good friends a year back but then things drifted apart. and ever since then we have been on and off. Never really settled on any thing and at the same time never bonded on anything either.
I don’t know what was going right between usthat we started bonding so well, suddenly. Yes, suddenly ! Being together for 2 years we never really talked much and then in 3rd year we started chatting.
Why I am writing about her? well its because yesterday was her birthday and deep in my corner I wanted to talk to her (but couldnt for her number was changed). That left me thinking. Why?
Actually I am myself not aware why and what I am writing these. I just wanted to write about.
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The title suggests its a midnight rant, i would not say exactly midnight. Its. 2:30 am, you get my point.
I am still reading the journal I was reading in the morning. Ya, i have no life. That reminds me this happens to be my second post today, something I havent done in recent times.
Blogging is hard when you have written more than 100s of posts. I was once freelancing as a journalist (at a national media house) worked there for 10 months. Before that i worked/ wrote number of blogs, articles, poems, tales and about everything I dreamt of doing once.
When i first started writing I had this dream of becoming a writer and people will praise my work. I was successful in achieving that dream. In less than 2 years i was satisfied and hence writing came to a halt. Now i tend to write more for myself( i dont need to please anyone) 😉
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Found a journal after a long interval and it seems just like the old times.
Alot has been happening in life (actually nothing is really happening. ) I am just sitting in my home jobless. Although there is one meeting today with our investors. Hope something good happens there.
And as if I was not facing enough troubles my notebook started giving me troubles as well.
the question : No matter how content you are with your present life, you always have to dig into your past. Why in the world you always do that? Causing pain and sorrows upon yourself and people around.
That one moment that you could have easily avoided but instead you choose to maneuver it. You should have realized that somethings (read people) are not present in your life for a reason and reaching out for them will only make matters worse.
Yes, I agree the past haunts sometimes, it does to everyone. But there is a definite reason it is called “past”, and no matter how hard you try they will never be your present, leave alone the future. For the sanity of yourself and others get a life and stop messing.
Its better you live in your present and move with the flow
reasons: Yes I know why I dive into my past, because she was the only good thing that happened to me back in the school days (might also include college). School was really a tough time for me for I hardly made any friends. People used to follow others around (usually ones who had good marks or were some sort of funny or witty) I was neither of them in fact I was total foolish and dumb. Back then also I had this thought why I should follow other, go WHERE EVER they go? They weren’t my friends in ant sense they were just my batch mates.
These apart from many were/are the reasons I keep poking into my past hoping against hope to relive some/any of the those moments. But recent events have made me realize that other party regards me as retard (may be pervert)
So, its summer again and I thought of trying my luck at getting a internship. I started my search (just like last winter) and over a period of a month, wrote as many mails as I could ;).
Of all 3 responded for a telephonic conversation. The first one was the best where I had expectations (both from the employer and from myself) . I lived upon mine and performed all the tasks but as it turned out there were people better than me (thats what they told) . At the end of the day, I never got the opportunity. From then I got 2 more rejections.
And in the last interview it happened that I was exposed to questions (about technology stacks) that I never cared to know. Although I realized I had messed up the situation here as well but there were many positive points to consider. I will be working on them in the future to improve my knowledge base.
The same thing happened last winter as well but eventually I ended up with two internships. Thats because I was determined that I am good enough to be hired. I still believe but I need to focus more on my startup Geeklab. We will be soon starting operations.
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It has been a while since I last wrote a article all because of my laziness. Yeah, I have one hell of a person. But more of it later I am here to discuss something else.
In the year 2010 I had a breakup (a terrible one) and I was lucky to get out of it with flying colors. Today its almost close to 4 years, all these days I was only trying to become a man who can bring my girl back. I was obsessed with her. To my luck she never tried contacting me, yeah a atypical scenario where the other person had already moved when you’re sulking in your sorrows. Believe me that was tough, very tough situation to handle.
What I realized today is that I had wasted my 4 years for a human bean who never cared if I was even alive or not. Yes, it was a mistake and I think I have suffered too much.
Its time to forgive the person who can never be a part of my life. And most importantly I forgive myself for letting myself suffer in the last 4 years.
Read a interesting tweet this morning, which surprisingly speaks logic of the real world.
We wont be young again. We wont love like crazies anymore.
It will primarily take me back to old days at school but I don’t mind. Yes the sentence is very true. (Gosh I have written these lines before.)
As we tend to grow into adults sense and understanding starts creeping in and that’s when all the fun part dies out. As teenagers we all must have experienced ( and done) things that given a chance we won’t (or atleast think twice before doing) do as adults. Yes, being a adult has its own advantages but who doesn’t love being reckless and carefree. I would love to revisit my teenagers days again 🙂 (and perhaps mend few things/relationships)
Yes, I badly miss some people who gave me dreams and were with me but life moves on.
I won’t be young again. I wont be able to love like crazies anymore.